Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Why Your Wedding Isn't Everything

As my first anniversary is quickly approaching (May 17!), I have been replaying a lot about our wedding... Things I wish I would have done, things I wish I wouldn't have done, & things I realize weren't even necessary.  I'm in that time in my life where it feels like everyone is getting married & having babies.  I look at so many people's wedding pictures & think, "WOW. You must have spent a bazillion dollars on something that is over in a few hours."  It's ridiculous, really.  As Americans, why do we put so much emphasis on the wedding & not the actual marriage itself?  Personally, I think that is one of the many reasons why our divorce rate is so high.

Your wedding isn't everything.

All of those months (& even years for some people) of planning are over in a flash.  One thing that Andrew & I tried to remember while planning our wedding was that the marriage is more important.  Who cares if you don't get the perfect set of flowers (they'll be dead before you even come back from your honeymoon anyways).  I understand that making your wedding special is important.  It should be a memorable day.  It should be one of the best days of your life.  Andrew & I loved our wedding.  But we love our marriage more.

I like to think that I was a pretty chill bride.  I don't think I went all bridezilla on anyone.  I think the reason why I was so carefree was because I realized that at the end of our wedding day, Andrew & I would be married-- & that's all that mattered.  In my major (Child Development), it was connected a lot to the Marriage & Family degree because it was under the umbrella of Family Life Education. I had to take a lot of classes that were about that topic & one of the classes was called "Current Issues in Family Diversity."  My professor wrote an article that we had to read & I took a picture of it because I thought it was so important.

My professor wrote, "Society pays very little attention to marriages.  Most images of weddings end with 'they lived happily ever after' without any idea how that happens.  I think if couples planned as much for their marriages as they do for their wedding, they have a better chance of it working out for them.  A good friend of mine says that a good marriage is a lot like an Oklahoma road-- always under construction.  In other words, couples have to continue to work on their relationships in order to keep them safe & passable." -David Petermann

The point is, spending $30k on your wedding isn't going to get your marriage anywhere.  It won't ensure that your marriage will last a lifetime.  It won't even ensure that you will have a mediocre marriage.  It's when you take the time & effort to shift your focus on the marriage you're about to embark in, instead of wasting that energy on a mere wedding that will last but only for a moment.

And that's why your wedding isn't everything.

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