Thursday, September 24, 2015

How To Move On

I try to keep the vibe on this blog positive because there's so much negativity in our world, but that doesn't mean I can't share some personal things I've experienced. I've gone through a lot in my short 22 years of life. I'd like to say that because of it, I've grown a lot. One of the biggest things I have experienced so far is the sudden death of my dad. 

This coming up February, it will be four years since he passed away. My dad was fine one minute & gone the next. In the blink of an eye, really. It all happened so fast. I won't go into a lot of details, but my mom & I had a pretty traumatic morning on that cold, February day. I was only 18 years old. None of my friends at the time had ever lost a parent. I pretty much felt alone at that moment.

When you go through something traumatic, you often wonder how you will ever move on past that point. I can't say enough about the consistent people who were there with me every step of the way through my grieving process. I read a post by Sarah @ Venus Trapped In Mars recently that talked about her losing her dad when she was 19. She mentioned that she ended up losing a lot of her friends because she was constantly changing due to the fact that she was grieving. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was doing the same thing. I found out who was truly there for me no matter what, even when I was changing.

The one thing that was always consistent for me though, was my heavenly Father. If you don't know Jesus as your Lord & Savior, you may not understand this part of my post. But stick with me. When I was sitting on the floor of the hospital room, trying to make sense of everything, I felt an overwhelming peace. I realized that I was going to be okay. Even though I couldn't see it at the time, I knew God was there for me every step of the way. He was always consistent. He was & IS always there. People in your life come & go, but God never changes. He still does great things.

One of those great things was bringing Andrew to me right when I needed him. Andrew & I started dating December 2011. Dad died February 2012. My dad loved Andrew. I think he knew that Andrew & I would get married one day. The reason why I think that is because exactly one week before my dad died, Andrew kissed me for the first time. I told my mom & dad the day after, & all I remember my dad saying was, "FINALLY!" I think he knew I would be taken care of-- both on this earth by Andrew & by God getting me through this life.

So the point of this blog post is "how to move on." Honestly, I don't have any other solution for you other than to trust in Jesus. I can't imagine going through the death of a loved one without Him. Also realize, it takes time to move on. It's not going to be something that happens overnight. For me, it's happened over many years & I'm still not completely "over it." But you learn how to "deal with" not having that person here in your life anymore. For me, God brought me a friend through college who had lost her mom a few years before I lost my dad. It felt good to have someone who completely understood what you were going through. Even though I had other friends, they didn't really get it because they had never lost a parent before. I'm forever grateful for God giving me a friend who understood.

Moving on is work. It's getting yourself out of bed every morning. It's realizing that although you're going through a lot, other people are too-- most being worse than what you're going through. Moving on means trusting in the fact that although your earthly father isn't here anymore, your heavenly Father is always here. He is consistent. He never changes. And He'll get you through it all, in His timing.

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